How to behave after having sex with a new boyfriend

Doors are closing

Maria is experiencing personal disaster. She accidentally ruined a quivering romance. She did not just ruin the romantic atmosphere with a stupid phrase or an unmotivated act, but literally went nuts.

Everything began more than fine: meeting at a mutual friend’s birthday party, talking about art, winking in Skype, tapping in ICQ, sweet chatter about this and that, three gorgeous dates. Ballet, zoo, skating rink are classics of the genre, after such events they go down the aisle in Hollywood films. Or they go to Las Vegas and win a million dollars. And Masha, who buzzed all my ears with stories about her beautiful Tolik, prepared to transfer the relationship to a horizontal plane. The fourth date was supposed to be decisive — Tolik had long suggested that we go to him to admire his aquarium fish.

Everything was thought out to the smallest detail: light makeup, a new dress – smart, but not too elegant, a new set of lingerie from Agent Provocateur, beige ballet flats … It seems that she even studied the Kama Sutra once again. In short, I came to Tolik fully armed. The disaster happened in the morning. No, Tolik really had excellent aquarium fish, and in sex he showed himself five points. But on the eve, he decided to surprise Masha with culinary delights. Octopuses and squids in the salad and yesterday seemed slippery to her, and in the morning – according to the law of meanness – the sea bastards showed their true colors! And, waking up at 6 am in someone else’s apartment, Masha could think of only one thing: where is the damn toilet?

This is not a story for glossy magazines … Instead of running away at midnight, leaving behind a light veil of “Chanel No. 5”, Masha barricaded herself in the bathroom and for an hour pretended to brush her teeth, read the press, swim a hundred meters in bathroom … Refusing a cup of coffee and trying not to look her lover in the eyes, Masha fled, referring to the visit of her aunt from Rostov. Behind Masha there was a fleur of air freshener. You find it funny, but your friend, by the way, has not only personal life, but also self-esteem – down the drain. She will not answer Tolikov’s call for any price and will not write to him herself. As if she did not go to the monastery, by God!

Would you even drink some tea?

It is only in the movies that the heroine goes into the kitchen in the morning in a man’s shirt and, looking at the undisguised rear of her lover, who is in what her mother gave birth, makes coffee, casually throws: “Me with cream!” In reality, girls are more nervous after the first night together than before the final exams.

The merciless morning light deprives us of our former charm — the sinking is crumbling, the hair is crumpled, cellulite, or the tummy, or some other imperfections of the female body are visible in the rays of the rising sun. And it’s good if everything happened at your home and you can sneak into the bathroom with your mouse and start your morning marafet. And if, in a fit of disco mood, you were brought home to him at night? Neither brushing your teeth, nor styling your hair … And in general it is not clear whether it is possible to go to the bathroom without permission, if the owner of the house is still asleep. And now the passionate goddess of the night begins to feel embarrassed, to put on the bra that was found under the bed in a hurry, come up with a thousand reasons to quickly go home … In general, she runs!

One good friend of mine, in order not to spoil the impression of the wonderful “yesterday”, adheres to a strict rule – not to stay until morning. And after a passionate night he goes home to sleep. And he does not let the gentlemen into his house, arguing that they are “not familiar enough”. She is a fernme fatale, but has never had a serious long-term relationship. But it is the first morning spent together that is the defining moment in the further fate of the couple. The partner’s behavior in the light is subjected to a more sensitive analysis than at night: what he says, what he jokes about, how he eats … And the main thing is whether he continues to show signs of attention. And he looks at you and tries to figure out if it’s worth continuing, so it’s important to make this morning good.

So … … you woke up with you

Be a welcoming hostess, but without unnecessary body movements. Don’t rush around trying to find a second pair of slippers for him or make a three-course breakfast. Even if you are just a girl from a sleeping area, and he is the crown prince, do not complex about the shortcomings of your home. So what if your renovation is not finished, through the hole in the ceiling you can see the neighbors from above, and on the table there is a mess left from the day before last the defense of the diploma! You live as you see fit! By the way, a man is as complex as you. Even if he pretends to be asleep, in fact, he probably remembers whether he wore enough stylish panties yesterday. He worries if you will be disappointed when you see his thin, unpumped hands in the light of day. He doesn’t know how you feel about the fact that he has Mario brothers tattooed on his left buttock. Take him for who he is even if you spot a hole in his toe. It happens to everyone! And there is no need to show who is the boss: “Don’t walk on the carpet, I vacuumed it yesterday!”, “Don’t eat cutlets, it’s for lunch!”, “Don’t iron the cat, remember!” Because if at night you were a passionate Odalisque, and in the morning, in a protocol voice, announced from the bathroom that he forgot to close the tube of paste, the whole erotic impression is gone. Men are shy creatures, especially in foreign territory. And if you let him feel at home, you can learn the habits of this beast in a short time. Poured water on the bathroom floor? Chewing morning toast like an African baboon? Evil joking over grandfather’s photo? Criticizing your way of brewing coffee? Draw your own conclusions! And by the way, just in case, get a spare toothbrush. who is the boss in the house: “Don’t walk on the carpet, I vacuumed it yesterday!”, “Don’t eat cutlets, this is for lunch!”, “Don’t stroke the cat, remember!” Because if at night you were a passionate Odalisque, and in the morning, in a protocol voice, announced from the bathroom that he forgot to close the tube of paste, the whole erotic impression is gone. Men are shy creatures, especially in foreign territory. And if you let him feel at home, you can learn the habits of this beast in a short time. Poured water on the bathroom floor? Chewing morning toast like an African baboon? Evil joking over grandfather’s photo? Criticizing your way of brewing coffee? Draw your own conclusions! And by the way, just in case, get a spare toothbrush. who is the boss in the house: “Don’t walk on the carpet, I vacuumed it yesterday!”, “Don’t eat cutlets, this is for lunch!”, “Don’t stroke the cat, remember!” Because if at night you were a passionate Odalisque, and in the morning, in a protocol voice, announced from the bathroom that he forgot to close the tube of paste, the whole erotic impression is gone. Men are shy creatures, especially in foreign territory. And if you let him feel at home, you can learn the habits of this beast in a short time. Poured water on the bathroom floor? Chewing morning toast like an African baboon? Evil joking over grandfather’s photo? Criticizing your way of brewing coffee? Draw your own conclusions! And by the way, just in case, get a spare toothbrush. Because if at night you were a passionate Odalisque, and in the morning, in a protocol voice, announced from the bathroom that he forgot to close the tube of paste, the whole erotic impression is gone. Men are shy creatures, especially in foreign territory. And if you let him feel at home, you can learn the habits of this beast in a short time. Poured water on the bathroom floor? Chewing morning toast like an African baboon? Evil joking over grandfather’s photo? Criticizing your way of brewing coffee? Draw your own conclusions! And by the way, just in case, get a spare toothbrush. Because if at night you were a passionate Odalisque, and in the morning, in a protocol voice, announced from the bathroom that he forgot to close the tube of paste, the whole erotic impression is gone. Men are shy creatures, especially in foreign territory. And if you let him feel at home, you can learn the habits of this beast in a short time. Poured water on the bathroom floor? Chewing morning toast like an African baboon? Evil joking over grandfather’s photo? Criticizing your way of brewing coffee? Draw your own conclusions! And by the way, just in case, get a spare toothbrush. you will be able to study the habits of this beast in a short time. Poured water on the bathroom floor? Chewing morning toast like an African baboon? Evil joking over grandfather’s photo? Criticizing your way of brewing coffee? Draw your own conclusions! And by the way, just in case, get a spare toothbrush. then you can study the habits of this beast in a short time. Poured water on the bathroom floor? Chewing morning toast like an African baboon? Evil joking over grandfather’s photo? Criticizing your way of brewing coffee? Draw your own conclusions! And by the way, just in case, get a spare toothbrush.

… you woke up with him

Now you know how he lives. Writing obscene words with your finger on a dusty dresser? Grows violets? Sorts cutlery, books and even remnants by color and size? Hang a full-length photo of your beloved on the walls? Draw your own conclusions!

In someone else’s apartment you will not be able to take a bath like a master, using your own towel, hairdryer and toothbrush, put on cozy – homemade and make yourself coffee. It’s not at all clear if he has coffee? But the main thing that you shouldn’t do is take the initiative into your own hands. After all, you are just a guest at his castle, so let him make your morning unforgettable.

Let him knock on the bathroom every two minutes, asking if something is needed, let him make coffee, make breakfast, babysit you as the owner of the house. Only without criticism. Show that you enjoy his troubles, even if there is no body milk in the bathroom and the sprat in the tomato is burnt. In fact, any man does not mind that in the morning his girlfriend went into the kitchen in his shirt and said: “Me with cream!” Better yet: “Let’s repeat!”

… you woke up with friends

It also happens that outbursts of passion entwine your bodies at someone’s dacha or even at a resort during a corporate team building. And now, in the morning, all your friends have witnessed your fall. Well, the main thing is to pretend that … everything is going according to plan. Don’t jump away from your new lover as if you were a victim of sexual harassment! You are an independent person and you decide for yourself where and with whom to indulge in debauchery. Even if after a joint trip you never see each other again, do not deny everything that happened. Smile and everyone will envy. In general, the first morning together is almost like the New Year: how you meet it, so your relationship will develop. The future husband of one of my friends, for example, after a passionate night in her apartment, was the first to go into the kitchen and, putting on the kettle, said: “Listen,